Just Fine
by Tellhound
Summary: AU. "This wasn't the Dean he himself knew, this was the Dean that only came out when he lost the people closest to him. It was a Dean that eventually started drinking and sometimes doing drugs. It was a Dean that fought with different people every night after accidentally saying the wrong things to people at the bar. It was the Dean that his brother had hated more than anything."


Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural or the characters.

**A/N: I haven't watched Supernatural in months (yes I'm a horrible fan) and I haven't written Supernatural fanfiction in forever, but I guess this just wouldn't really leave me until I got it written. So I hope you enjoy and don't forget to review.**

**Just Fine**

This wasn't how it was supposed to end. His brother was supposed to be at home with his girlfriend. He was supposed to be watching some boring chick-flick and eat candy and stay up way too late to have enough energy to meet his friends the day after at as early as 8 am. What where they thinking when they agreed to meet that early? He didn't know, nor did he care. All that mattered was that his brother was laying dead in a morgue right now. And for what? Because he had forgotten to buy milk when they had been at the store earlier. "This is Sam. Leave a message after the beep." He had been calling his brother every hour since he found out, because it just couldn't be true. Sam couldn't be dead. Sooner or later he was gonna answer the phone and they would talk and laugh and everything would be like it always had. "Dean." A voice said from the other side of the door. "Can I come in?" He didn't feel like talking to anyone if it wasn't Sam so he never answered. Eventually the door opened anyway and in came his mother. She sat down beside her oldest son and said: "I know it's hard for you, Dean, but it's time. The funeral is in a few hours. You don't want to miss it do you?" She had tears in her eyes and the little smile that always used to be on her face was gone. She was hurting just as much as Dean, but she was trying to stay strong. Dean knew that. "I can't." Dean said, almost crying. It was the first time he had spoken to anyone since he found out what had happened. "Dean, please. You are gonna regret it if you don't go. Remember when your father died?"

"That was different!" Dean snapped. "Was it? Just think about it. You where as close to John as you where to Sam. They died in the same way and your reaction was the same. You are gonna regret it." She stood up and placed a hand on his face before kissing his cheek. "I'm not gonna make you come if you don't want to." And with that she left the his room. Dean knew she was right. He was gonna regret it if he didn't go. So he for the first time in days he let go of the phone and left his room. He walked through the short hallway to the bathroom and entered it. He closed the door and locked it behind him before he looked in the mirror. The man staring back at him was someone he didn't recognize. The face had a two week old beard. The hair on top of the head that stood in every different direction. Then there was the eyes. The eyes that had once been green and full of life was now dark and filled with pain. The love for life that always had been visible in his eyes where gone, replaced with sadness. This wasn't the Dean he himself knew, this was the Dean that only came out when he lost the people closest to him. It was a Dean that eventually started drinking and sometimes doing drugs. It was a Dean that fought with different people every night after accidentally saying the wrong things to people at the bar. It was the Dean that his brother had hated more than anything. He knew he couldn't let it get that bad this time. That was not what his brother had wanted. This time he was gonna try and stop that Dean. So he shaved until his face didn't have any more hair. Then he stripped off his clothes and turned on the water in the shower. He steeped inside the hot water and just let it flow down his body. It felt good. It felt like the water helped him wash away some of the sadness he had been feeling for the past few days.

Eventually he turned off the water and dried off with a towel that had been hanging outside. He hadn't bothered to check if it was clean, but it didn't seem like it was dirty. Once his hair and most of the body was dry he just put the towel around the waist and left the bathroom, leaving the dirty clothes on the floor. He could take care of that later. Right now he had to get ready. He entered his room again and got out a pair of boxers from a drawer. He put them on and let the towel just fall to the floor. Then he opened his closet and got out the clothes he was supposed to wear on his fathers funeral. He put it on and checked himself in the mirror that hung on the inside of the closet door. It looked a little big on him (he had lost a couple pounds since his fathers death), but otherwise it looked good. He then fixed his hair a little before leaving his room and walking down the stairs and in to the kitchen, where he could see his mother standing by the oven waiting for something inside it. It was probably a pie. He remembered from when his father died that for the next few months she had been baking pies almost every day. "What kind is it?" He asked her from where he was standing by the door. She turned around and upon seeing the clothes he was wearing she completely ignored his question and said: "I'm so glad you're coming with me." She walked up to him and they hugged. "I thought about some things and I came to the conclusion that missing his funeral would be the wrong choice of me." They let go of each other. "I think you're making the right choice." She kissed him on the cheek for the second time that day and walked over to the oven and opened it. She put on a oven glove and took out a pie. Dean had been right. She placed it on the counter before taking off the glove and closing the oven. "You want to taste it when we get back?" She asked as she turned towards Dean again. "I would love to." He said with a smile. "Don't forget to turn off the oven." He said and left the room to go and put on his shoes. It was almost time to leave.

It wasn't until a few minutes later when he was sitting outside on the porch that his mother came. "It's such a beautiful day." He said. "It's such a shame that Sammy isn't here right now. I can just imagining him sitting under the tree in the backyard, reading a book." The thought made the sad Dean want to come out, but Dean kept the little smile he had on his lips. He wasn't gonna let sad Dean win this time. He couldn't let him win this time. Usually Sam was the one one to help Dean get rid of sad Dean and he didn't knew what would happen if sad Dean won this time. With a sigh he got up and walked towards the old car that once had belonged to his father. It was an Impala from 1967. When John had died and once Sam had helped him get rid of sad Sam that car had become his everything. Over the past few years whenever he had started to feel depress or when he generally just was in a bad mood he would just drive for as long as he could with her and it usually made him feel better. Maybe that was what would help him keep sad Dean away this time.

The funeral had been easier than he expected it to be. He did cry throughout it, but he never once fell apart like he had when he was at his fiances funeral three years earlier. He didn't really know why, since he had loved them equally (just in different ways) and he was just as close to him as he had been to her. Maybe it was the fact that he had decided to keep the sad Dean away this time, or maybe it was because he deep down felt like Sam was somehow still with him. It didn't matter though. He knew that this time he wouldn't start drinking and doing drugs. He wouldn't fight with different people every night. He was sad. He couldn't deny that, but sad Dean wasn't there and before he knew it he would be completely fine. It was just a matter of time. Time and driving his car and being with the right people. If he had all that everything would be just fine.

**The End**

A/N: I know the ending was a little rushed (and not at all what I had planned) but this was something I wrote when I was angry (and like I said, it wouldn't leave until it got written) and towards the end I guess I was just in a better mood. And quite honestly I like this ending more than the one I had planned. Anyway, hope you enjoyed it. Don't forget to review.


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